The joy of receiving knowledge in class

Ever since I entered worklife, the feeling of something’s missing grew stronger. I never completed reading at least a book or even drop by a bookstore to look for fresh reads. I feel like reading books is not enough to prove you’re knowledgeable and it’s already sufficient. I need more than this, but what? In the midst of hustle and bustle of endless work, I sensed that I’m losing whatever I used to practice before, one of which is adab. I look for anything or something which can lift me up, but fails. From inspiring stories to motivation books to autobiography books (like Michelle Obama) to Islamic historical books. None.

So, today, I decided to browse an online bookstore to purchase an English version of Bidayatul Hidayah (The Beginning of Guidance) by Imam al-Ghazali. Then, somehow, it brings me back to the days I learnt it in class. I never really understand why adab needs to be part of the subjects in my school, as adab needs to be applied on daily basis and always be reminded. Anyway, at that time, I was passionate about everything so I still believe adab is really important. But, to which extend does it has? I begin to struggle after long I graduated from my college. The burden of staying consistent to the knowledge you have learnt for years in schools.

I guessed I must have missed classes so much. During college days, I missed the ambience of what is a class, what it takes to be a student, and what is a class in a college. Generally, I read a lot and expand/challenge the level of my awareness of knowledge. I am literally being so selective in books and talks that can really helps me to be a real student. There was ups and downs. In the end, you still need a teacher, by means a real teacher, to guide you.

Then, worklife. A new world, another challenge. It is completely different from class and I make uncountable mistakes and to learn and pick it up teaches me what is an ‘ilm. If there’s one knowledgeable person that I envy, it would be Iman Ahmad ibn Hanbal, one of the Muslim scholars and one of four mazhab (school of fiqh). From the muslimheritage.com, “It was not until Ahmad was 40 years of age that he had a circle where he taught and gave rulings on any question put to him. This does not mean that he would not have given rulings earlier than that. Indeed he would answer when a question was put to him, because abstention meant suppression of knowledge and that is forbidden in Islam. But he would not sit for teaching and issuing rulings until he was 40. He had two reasons for that: the first was to follow the Prophet's example, who received his revelations and became a teacher for mankind at that age, and the other his respect for his teachers meant that he would not teach while they were alive. It was a coincidence that El-Shafie died in 204, when Ahmad was 40.” His burning passion to learn and his adab is something that I hope to be and will keep on. Whenever I learn something, be it good or bad; for anything we gain is something that could help us in the future. There are other great qualities of him which can be a form of reflection.

To be in a class and listening attentively to what the teacher teaches; trying to hold back from sleeping even if you’re already half dead, is something I can never forget. What’s more, I am slowly beginning to understand why teachers emphasises that ‘ilm and adab really goes in line. There’s a few occasions whereby it keeps on bringing me back to teachers that I really respect and who taught me a lot about ‘ilm and adab. A teacher once said that it may seem little and something you can overlooked when it comes to the ties of ‘ilm and adab. Unless you see those who practice both, you will never see the difference.

There’s numerous of advice given by my teachers, especially the strong connection between ‘ilm and adab, and I really really wish I could share with my students and anyone. In secular world, what it takes to be a student in class. Sure, I am jealous to those quick learners and who often sleeps in class but still scores well. I feel small when standing beside a person who can holds ‘ilm and adab together. I would say, this kind of person is 1 out of 50.

Maybe I should consider furthering my studies (again) or attend good religious classes/talks since I feel like I’m out of direction. Y’know when your teacher quoted from this pious person, this sheikh, this ulama’ hadith, this scholar/s… it really makes me curious about this particular person and the knowledge he/she has (including your teacher) and realised how little knowledge you have and you have to work hard.

I miss being a student. Really really a thousand times I do.

Can I just say I miss my school here?